Twitter Transforms Teenage Fight Clubs

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The stadiums would fill with thousands of the cheering and screaming who watched the spectacle. Gladiators in ancient Rome used to fight to the death in front of large crowds for the pure enjoyment of the fans. While this sort of gratuitous violence may seem alien to students, online battles on Twitter have become commonplace.

Mariemont’s physical bullying has been decreasing. However, This doesn’t mean Mariemont is free of conflict. With the shift from physical violence students now hash out their teenage angst in front of the world on Twitter.

Angst filled teenagers above all else refuse to listen to others. It is one of the best parts about being a teenager, the illusion that no matter how many facts are presented, one’s initial opinion is correct. So I’m begging the majority of my teenage readership to act older than their age.

Nobody wins in a Twitter fight, but I’m here to help provide some top tips if you find yourself cornered on the web. So here are the basic guidelines for handling drama on Twitter:

I’ll start by listing times when Twitter fights are acceptable:

1. Never.

2. Refer to number one.

3. Seriously find something better to do, get a hobby, or learn to knit.

Don’t fight on Twitter. Don’t do it. Life is far too short for petty conflicts, I don’t care what so and so said about your hair or your shirt, starting a fight on Twitter solves nothing. If you want something to get resolved give the person the respect of confronting them on the side. Don’t let things escalate.



I know that many of you will refuse to follow the first rule, or maybe you have lost the ability to reason and feel the need to hide behind your computer.

1. The first rule is to make your account private. In this way, if people want to follow the conflict they will have to request to follow you, which will boost your follower ratio. In this way at least something positive will come of the conflict.

2.The next key step to Twitter-fight etiquette is when throwing the first blow ensure that it is only as personal as you are willing to take. Be prepared for the person to come back at you twice as hard as you went at them.

3. An important part about fighting over Twitter is treating the fight like a duel, keep it between two combatants. At all costs avoid dragging neutral parties into the conflict. In this way it keeps one group of friends from ganging up on a single person, avoid gang violence at all costs.

4. Try to put things in perspective. This conflict will not define your high school experience; we are all still teenagers, which means we are still growing and developing as people. Keep that in mind when considering whether or not to destroy an entire person’s existence over the internet.

5. “ELE.” It’s the golden rule. Everybody love everybody it’s really that simple.

6. It is tough to realize–especially in the world we live in–that the world in fact does not revolve around us. Everyone is struggling to make their own way, instead of putting each other down, help pick each other up.

If you aren’t able to abide by the rules then I recommend deleting your Twitter account. Nothing good can come of it but trouble, if it is too much of a personal struggle to avoid conflict on Twitter you have bigger issues to address.