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Mariemont’s Best Nicknames


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BY WILL KEMPER

Names are important. They allow us to effectively address another person. Humans are a remarkable species, and even though we don’t have any real superpowers, we do have one ability that has put us above every other species around us.

We are incredibly lazy, and we will go to great lengths to decrease our work output.

This is how nicknames were born.

Google Dictionary defines “nickname” as a familiar or humorous name given to a person or thing instead of or as well as the real name. They allow us to quickly grab someones attention, while also expressing our friendship. 

Here are some of the best nicknames at Mariemont High School today.

Valentine strikes her best Scrat pose (PHOTO BY VALENTINE).

Marin “Scrat” Valentine

Junior Marin Valentine got this nickname from her fifth grade teacher. Valentine had no idea why her teacher decided to name her after the fictional squirrel, Scrat.

Scrat, the crazy and wild saber-tooth squirrel from the movie Ice Age, spends his life going after the one thing he loves: the acorn.

Valentine connects with this idea because she considers herself crazy and wild. Valentine also has goals in life, just like Scrat.

She said, “A goal I have is success in life. My acorn is my future, and as long as I keep facing all the difficulties and prospering in life, I will get my acorn!”

Valentine embraces this nickname. “It feels normal when people call me this name because Scrat is me,” says Valentine.

Max “Gooby” Hobart

If you are ever around Max Hobart, it is very likely that you will hear the name “Gooby.”

“I got the nickname during freshman-year lacrosse season. During practice, Wilson Bucher would call me Gooby. No one knew why but the whole team thought it was funny, and it stuck,” says Hobart.

Hobart was skeptical at first, saying, “I thought there was an underlying meaning to it, but I realized there wasn’t, I began to like it and got used to being called ‘Gooby.’”

Zach “Lil Taco” McClorey

The new nickname “Lil Taco” has emerged for sophomore Zach McClorey, and he is not too happy about it. The nickname was created two months ago by Jack Neville, a close friend of McClorey’s.

“I do not know how he came up with the nickname, but I do not like it…at all,” says McClorey.

“I only like it when certain people call me ‘Lil Taco,’” McClorey adds. Chloe Reavill and Bradley Quick, close friends of McClorey, say they call him Lil Taco all the time.

Reese “Peanut” Grant

Reese Grant, MHS sophomore, has lived with many nicknames throughout the years. His favorite? Peanut.

“It all began in fifth grade when Evan Sizer went around and gave everyone nicknames. I do not know how he came up with Peanut, but I like it,” says Grant.

While some students get upset when identified by strange nicknames, Grant does not mind.

Grant says, “I really don’t care if people call me Peanut. I embrace the nickname.”

Michael “Big Sexy/Mango” Moehring

Sophomore Michael Moehring received the nickname “Mango” in third grade when he began playing lacrosse.

Head coach of the Terrace Park Bulldogs lacrosse team, Steve Peterson, gives every player a unique nickname. Some how, Moehring was stuck with “Mango.”

Mango was become a commonly used name. Moehring says, “All my friends call me Mango now. It makes me happy because I really like the name.”

“Big Sexy” was derived in seventh grade from Moehring’s personal trainer, Keith. Keith is a body builder who works at Revolution Fitness in Newtown.

Moehring says he received this nickname because he is, “Big and sexy.”

“I definitely embody this nickname,” says Moehring.

Mr. Hewitt poses with his “Great Hewdini” inspired emoji (PHOTO BY KEMPER).

Michael “Hewdini” Hewitt

Recently, physics and astronomy teacher, Mr. Hewitt received a new nickname from his third bell physics class, specifically from student Marin Valentine.

Valentine said, “The nickname just came to one day. I was thinking about how magical he was as a teacher, and I put the two names together.”

“Hewdini” is a twist off of the famous stage magician and stunt performer, Harry Houdini.

Mr. Hewitt loves the new nickname so much that he made a Houdini paper emoji and hung it in his classroom.

Mr. Hewitt enjoys hearing this new name. “It makes me feel magical,” says Hewitt.

 

 

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